Chapter Twenty (No Spoilers)

Ahan’s line here is one of my favorite openers in the book. Partially because it is amusing, and partially because it so perfectly represents what is going on in the story. Good political maneuvering, in my opinion, leads to shifts in power. Two or more sides vie, the upper-hand bouncing back and forth between them.

If you read over this scene in the garden, you might notice something odd. I didn’t see it until I was doing the copy edit, and by then it was too late to change. Lukel and Kiin aren’t there for the meeting. They’re never mentioned, and I never explain why they aren’t there. I think that I just forgot to put them in, since the scene isn’t set in the customary location of Kiin’s kitchen.

I don’t know if readers notice it or not–or even if they care–but I get tired of writing scenes in the same locations. I know it’s common in storytelling to do this. Most sitcoms, for instance, always take place in the same locations over and over again. However, I enjoy describing new settings, even if the change is as simple as putting the meeting outside instead of in the kitchen. Maybe it’s an unnecessary complication, but it makes the writing more interesting for me.

Sarene used to tap her cheek a lot more than she does in this draft. It was a quirk I designed for her at the beginning–a nervous habit I thought indicative of her personality. However, a lot of people found it distracting. They seemed to think that tapping the cheek was an odd behavior. (Just as a note, when she taps her cheek, I’m thinking of her folding her arms, with one hand raised contemplative, index finger resting on her cheek. I’ve been known to sit that way some times.)

Anyway, I took out many of the references. As Moshe said, “There’s just too much tapping going on!”

I really like Sarene’s explanation for why the country is in so much trouble now. You could wonder, perhaps, how Arelon lasted as long as it did beneath Iadon’s rule. Her answer here–that the people were anticipating Raoden’s rule–is a good one, I think. People can endure a lot, as long as they know that there is a defined end to their suffering.

Sarene’s half-breakdown in this chapter was intended as both a simple reminder of the stress she’s under as well as further characterization of her. She’s far more volatile than Raoden and Hrathen, and I think that is part of what makes her my favorite character in the book. She doesn’t always keep it all in–nor is she perfect. Occasionally, she makes mistakes, and things well up inside her. In this way, she’s very real to me.