Cutting the Mad Prince forced me to rewrite a bit of this chapter. As I mentioned, in the original draft, Raoden and Galladon saw Eton’s army crouching outside the city. At first, Sarene didn’t know what to make of this news. She decided it couldn’t be a Fjordell army–one could have never arrived so quickly. She knew it wasn’t Teoish.
The chapter used to end with a startling realization from Sarene–she decided that the phantom army must belong to Prince Raoden. She decided that he hadn’t died or been killed, but had instead fled to raise an army to take the throne from his father. I thought this was a very clever twist, and it was one of the things I was most sad to lose by cutting the Mad Prince.
I like how Raoden and Sarene’s relationship is progressing in these chapters. I realize that it’s probably moving just a bit too quickly to be natural, but remember that they don’t really have much to do all day besides spend time with each other.
All in all, I like that their relationship has an opportunity to really develop and progress naturally. They don’t fall in love because they fight all the time (which seems to be the only reason some fantasy characters hook up) or because they’re possessed by hormones. Their personalities really do compliment one another, and they get along. They both like politics and keeping secrets for the game of it, and they are both sincere, intelligent people.
In other words, they don’t just hook up because–as my friend Alan likes to say–‘One of them is the male lead, and the other’s the female lead.’ I’d like to think that there is more to it than that.