So, in the original version of the book, Raoden and Galladon saw Eton’s army outside the city when they went up to the top of the wall. This shocked and concerned them, which is why they went searching for Sarene to get news about the outside world. More on the Mad Prince later, however.
“Hama,” Galladon’s word for grandmother, is actually another theft from the real world. One of my cousins has a little son who calls his grandmother ‘Hama,’ and I always thought it was a cute nickname. The really funny one, however, is when he refers to my grandmother–his great-grandmother. She’s Big Hama. (In keeping with this tradition, Sarene’s childhood nickname for Kiin is ‘Hunkey Kay,’ a child’s version of ‘Uncle Kiin.’ This is a spin off of what that same little kid in the real world calls my mother. She’s ‘Hunky BaBa,’ or ‘Aunt Barbara.’)
What did I warn you about we writers and filching things?
Originally, when Raoden and Galladon got to the top of the stairwell, they hacked their way through the door with Seolin’s sword. When I got to this point, I’d completely forgotten that I’d already established that there was at least one axe in Elantris. In the rewrite, I put that in instead.
So, why does Raoden keep his identity secret from Sarene? I think his explanation here is earnest–he wants to get to know her without the truth of his identity throwing a crimp into the relationship. He, of course, intends to tell her eventually. At the risk of giving a spoiler, however, you needn’t worry that this is going to turn into a ‘I’m mad at you for lying to me’ plot. Those always annoy me too. (Chick flicks are famous for them. “Oh, you’re really a rich prince? Well, I hate you for pretending to be a pauper to win my love!”)
I’m a little bit chagrined at how much faking I have going on in this chapter. Sarene isn’t telling Raoden about the outside world (a necessary plotting device because of the triad–three days have passed, and I had to have a reason why she hadn’t told Raoden about events outside the city yet.) Raoden isn’t telling Sarene who he really is. On top of that, I’m keeping the secret of Hrathen’s potion from my own characters, and I have to do some more rationalizing in this chapter–explaining why Sarene has enough food, and why she can’t do AonDor–to make it all work. Ah. . .why can’t we all just be honest.
Okay, now, I know you’re going to laugh at me here. However, I suppose you deserve to know the whole story of this book. After all, I told you about the whole ‘Adonis’ thing.
Well, the thing is, the first version of the book included about two pages of poetry from WYRN THE KING. I think every prose writer goes through a stage where we think, for some reason, that we have a talent for poetry. It’s doubly bad in fantasy, where we’ve all read Tolkien, and fell like adding poems, songs, and the like to our stories.
The thing is, most of us aren’t very good at it. WYRN THE KING was a narrative alliterative poem patterned after BEOWULF, and it was TERRIBLE. I might be masochistic enough to post it in the ‘deleted scenes’ section of the website. I’m honestly not sure yet. (Actually, I wrote the poem as a college assignment. I wiggled out of doing something research-oriented by somehow convincing my teacher that I deserved to do a creative project instead. When I finished, I felt a little bit obliged to stick it in my current book, as I’d told my teacher I would. Sorry, Dr. Thursby, but. . .uh. . .it didn’t make the final cut.)
Anyway, there was a point behind sticking the poem in the text, even if I completely overshadowed it by including so many lines of poetry. This section is really all we get in the book itself about Fjorden’s past. As I’ve explained in the annotations, Fjorden switched to Shu-Dereth to do its conquering, relying on religion rather than armies. When they did so, they went back and rewrote many of their great classics. (Orwell would be proud of them.)
This is actually based on some events in our world. Some scholars think that BEOWULF underwent similar revision, the monks who copied and translated it adding Christian symbolism to the text. After all, no great artist could possibly have been a true pagan. Everyone knows that Aristotle was a Christian–and he died before Christ was even born!
Anyway, I had to do some rewriting of this chapter. However, I worked very hard to preserve the last few lines. I figured it would be nice to see Raoden’s reaction to the news that his father was dead. I particularly like the off-handed way Sarene begins her explanation.