Chapter twenty-six (No Hidden Spoilers)
This book, as I’ve mentioned before, is a little less ‘tight’ than others I’ve written. There are chapters like this one, where nothing extremely important happens–I simply show life from one viewpoint, a state necessitated by one of the other two doing something very important. Still, despite it having very little to do with the overplot, I really like how this chapter turned out. Maybe I should force myself to do a strict triad system like this more often, for it forced me to have some chapters where the characters could just live. Sarene’s light chapters center around her friends and family, giving us an opportunity to spend time with them and enjoy ourselves. The Lukel sourmellon exchange probably couldn’t have happened in a book like MISTBORN, where the pacing is far more tense.
The main edit to this chapter came very early in the process. Very few people have seen this section–I don’t think it made it past the first revision. I’ll probably post in on the ‘deleted scenes’ section, though. What good is a website if you can’t embarrass yourself?
Anyway, the scene dealt with Daorn and Kaise approaching Kiin (during the fencing practice) and asking him if they could go with Sarene into Elantris. He responded by saying that they could as long as they did some silly homework-style projects for him. (Essays or multiplication tables or something like that.) In a re-read, I realized that this was WAY to modern, even for Kiin. I’d think that people who did this today were being progressive–and a bit odd. (What are these kids? Home-schoolers?)
Anyway, I cut the scene.
Oh, and I’m not exactly certain why the Three Virgins were surprised. However, this line from Kiin always cracks me up. I think of three virgins, think of them very surprised, and. . .yeah. Anyway, I’m sure they got more than they expected.
I suppose the most important scene in this chapter was the exchange between Sarene and Daora. It’s hard, in writing, to avoid being heavy-handed with exposition and emotion. Show don’t tell, as the proverb goes. Sometimes you get it right–like this particular scene. Sarene, obviously, is falling for Spirit–and Daora mistakes the emotion as being applied to Shuden. (Yes, I know, I shouldn’t have to explain this. However, that’s part of what these annotations are for–to explain things. I never can tell what people will get and what they’ll miss. I’ve thrown in twists I thought were obvious, only to have everyone miss them–but instead they pick up on the foreshadowing that I never meant to be strong enough to give the ending away. )
Anyway, one of my challenges in this book was to make the romance between Sarene and Raoden realistic, considering the relatively small amount of time they had to spend together. I hoped to avoid any silly ‘love at first sight’ type plottings, while at the same time making their relationship feel genuine and touching in as short a time as possible.