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Chapter Sixty-two Part One
SARENE AND HRATHEN
Sarene doesn’t get it. She has no clue how Hrathen feels–of course, he doesn’t even really acknowledge it himself. At least, not until he’s dying in the street.
Okay, so not all of the random surprises were cut from the book. I considered writing Fjon’s appearance out of the book on several occasions, and I also played with several ways of using this scene. Eventually, I settled on what you see now–which was my original version.
I realize this is a kind of ‘out-of-nowhere’ shock. If I were writing this book today, I’d probably have cut this one. I’d also have slowed this chapter down a bit–I think the quick viewpoint jumps are getting a bit tired. They work for a short time, but I’ve been going with them for too long. (Sorry.)
Anyway, back to Fjon. He has two basic purposes in the book. First is to kind of prove to Hrathen that no amount of logic and planning can prepare him for everything. The second is to set up Wyrn as a more mysterious, and more powerful, character. I definitely meant to imply that Wyrn managed to see, limitedly, into the future and sent Fjon to the place where he’d be able to slay an important traitor to Fjorden. I also thought Fjon’s appearance a nice tie back to the early chapters.
Looking back on it now, I still worry about this scene. Perhaps the book would have felt more professional if I’d just taken Hrathen out with a stab from Dilaf or one of his monks. The Fjon shock just wasn’t built up enough to earn its place in the book. However, at the same time, a piece of me likes the fact that this one event is completely random. It doesn’t detract from any of the characters–which is my main reason for avoiding random surprises. In battles, wars, and political conflicts, sometimes things happen that are completely unexpected. This is one of them.
And, here we have Lukel joking again. Just like a the end of last chapter, where he faints. Comic relief shouldn’t be underestimated, I think. Especially comic relief like this–jests and levity given in-character by people who are trying to lighten the mood of a stressful time. Lukel isn’t there simply to entertain the reader, he’s there to show a different side of human reaction. I think that if I were in his situation, I’d be trying to find a way to laugh about what happened too.